Fogginess and frustration

I haven’t blogged for a while because I forgot the email address I used to log into wordpress. Today I called the dog my name, instead of his.

Forgetting things, mixing up words, being unable to concentrate on anything…all major indicators things aren’t going well for me.

Before Christmas, I had a week and a half where I pretty much slept most of the time. I was back to 12 hours a night plus and morning and afternoon nap.  It seemed to restore me enough to cope alright over Christmas and I enjoyed it.

I had a few challenges early in the new year (have you had to go to your insurer’s medical specialist? I’ll write another post about that.) and a close family member has been in hospital for an operation.  That last one really pushed me beyond my limits and I think I’m having a setback.

It was a scheduled operation, not a medical emergency, so it isn’t concern for her health. She had a great surgeon, was well looked after in hospital and began recovering quickly. It was the demands on me. I had warned her several times over the last few months that I would not be well enough to look after her but she didn’t seem to listen and kept asking. I gave in on one occasion and took her to the hospital to be admitted.  While we were waiting, she suggested I might mow her lawn for her. What! I said “I didn’t have energy to have a shower today but sure, I’ll mow your lawn” in a sarcastic way. Not very mature, I know. Seriously? I can’t even cook or clean for myself and am only well enough to go into the office one day a week AND SHE KNOWS THIS. Sorry for the angry yelling, I’m pretty cross about it.

Thankfully the nurse sent me home (so a stranger who took one look at me could tell I needed to go and rest) and I left the hospital. She continued to ask me to come and stay with her to look after her after she was discharged. I told her that last night I woke up at 3am in pain and had to run a bath to help, so I’d only disrupt her sleep (trying to make it about her, rather than me), but it didn’t seem to deter her.

The final point for me was when she asked me to bring something she didn’t need and I said I wasn’t well enough to leave the house. “Get well soon so you can come over and cook for the invalid” was her response.

So I’m after a little sympathy from you today, perhaps story of your own? I’m trying to look at it as ridiculous and funny, its either laugh or cry.


About someonesideaofluxury

writing from home with my feet up
This entry was posted in Life with myalgic encephalomyelitis and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Fogginess and frustration

  1. Megan S says:

    So sorry you’ve been going through this. It’s always hard when people don’t seem to want to recognise that you’re not well even when they know very well you’re unable to do whatever it is they’re asking. It’s especially hard when it’s a close family member. I think your approach is the best, just brush it off and laugh… I struggle with this though!

  2. How frustrating when friends and family can’t/won’t understand what you’re going through. It isn’t unreasonable to need a bit of extra support after surgery but you’d think that asking a healthy friend or neighbour would be a more sensible option.

    • Yes! I’d arranged all the people that I pay for help (cleaning, gardening and massage) to go and see her, to try and make up for all the things I couldn’t do.
      Writing the post and venting helped me feel better 🙂

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