How to help when other people ask for help

It might seem strange to you that people either ask you for help or expect you to help with physical tasks.  Or it might not seem strange because it’s happened to you as well. Has it?

Cooking, cleaning, running errands, paying visits.  I’m surprised that ordinarily kind, thoughtful people have asked me or been upset with me for not helping. They are definitely in the minority, but it has been on my mind because I do want to help.

I know it’s boring for other people when I’m ill for so long, I’m bored by it too. I know if you are stuck at home ill then you need help. Unfortunately my condition doesn’t simply resolve itself just because someone else needs help now. I can’t cook them a meal and drop it over. If you are my friend or relative and are reading this, don’t think I’m indignant about it, just know that I would if I could.

this is how I feel some days  (photo from the Fylkesarkivet i Sogn og Fjordane archival collection)

this is how I feel some days (photo from the Fylkesarkivet i Sogn og Fjordane archival collection)

However, there are things I can do. I have more time now to sit and listen over a cup of herbal tea. I have much more empathy and patience than I used to have.  I know how much I appreciate that when friends do that for me.

I can offer great advice about shopping from home and what services are available for people whose health confines them to the house, for example borrowing books and dvds for free.  I can arrange to have your house cleaned, fresh sheets on the bed, lawn mowed, garden tidied, medications delivered and fresh, nutritious food (or delicious take-away) on your doorstep, all from my bed.  This is now my field of expertise. Surely all of this is valuable knowledge and will help.

Tomorrow I’m going to write about all the lovely things my friends have done for me. Today’s post might make me sound like a horrible friend or relative but I’m sure you understand. Tell me you do. Or hang out till tomorrow’s post before you judge me too harshly!

About someonesideaofluxury

writing from home with my feet up
This entry was posted in Advice, Life with myalgic encephalomyelitis and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s